Ramone’s “Pear of Dice” Soda @ Cozy Cone Motel

Price: $3.59

When: August 20, 2016, 2:30 PM

Reservations: n/a

Verdict? Not recommended

We’re at the Cozy Cone Motel. A churro has been ordered. And just as I’m about to pay, Elaine nudges me, points to the menu, and says, “What’s that?”

I look up and see that Cozy Cone #1 has a specialty beverage called “Ramone’s ‘Pear of Dice’ Soda.”

Yes, please. One of those, as well.

We get seated and go to work on the churro. Afterward, I’m ready for a little refreshment, and eagerly give Ramone’s soda a sip.

This is super-not-good.

Rather than a light or refreshing beverage – something to slake the thirst, say – this is syrupy and over-the-top in the sweetness department. There’s a touch of prickly pear flavor in the drink, but it’s like a liquid Jolly Rancher. It tastes fake. Between the prickly pear flavor and the light carbonation, all I could think was “pear-flavored mouthwash.”

This drink is such a record-scratch moment that, after she took a sip, Elaine went back to our discarded churro to reset her palate.

This is a weird beverage. I have no idea who it’s meant for. It’s not refreshing, and its’s also not distinctive enough to be a destination beverage. We didn’t finish more than a quarter of the drink … and even that felt like too much. (Quipped Elaine: “Pear of dice? More like a crap shoot.”)

Not recommended. Clearly.