Snowy Vanilla Frosty Shake @ Smokejumpers Grill

Price: $4.69

When: December 17, 2016, 12:45 PM

Reservations: n/a

Verdict? Not recommended

I’m a sucker for a good milkshake. Something about the fresh ice cream, the oversized straw, the whipped cream. It all comes together.

Thus far, I’ve had good luck with shakes at Disneyland. Flo’s has a fine milkshake, and Carnation Cafe has an excellent malt. Today, though, I’m at Smokejumpers Grill. They have a “Snowy Vanilla Frosty Shake.” And I’m gonna give it a shot.

I order. They ask if I want whipped cream. (The only correct answer to this question is “yes.”)

The shake is pulled, handed across the counter, and I pop in the straw. Let’s do this.

First impression: this is a surprisingly thick shake. It takes no small amount of effort to get the first few sips out of the glass. It likely needs to melt a bit.

Second impression: this is super-mild. The vanilla isn’t very noticeable. The whipped cream doesn’t stand out at all. The most pronounced feature of the drink is its thick, dairy texture.

Third impression: this doesn’t get better over time. Letting it warm up a bit definitely helped with viscosity, but it also revealed more of its true nature. As Elaine put it, “It’s a total fake vanilla shake.” And she’s right. It’s got that powdered-vanilla taste undercurrent that you get at cheap FroYo places. It’s less a milkshake, and more Milkshake Product™.

Most kids will likely be fine with this. A few adults may find it passable. For me, it doesn’t clear the bar. Go to Flo’s instead.

Not recommended.