Doc’s Wild Grape Tonic @ Cozy Cone Motel

Price: $3.89

When: January 28, 2017, 4 PM

Reservations: n/a

Verdict? Not recommended

So while I’m ordering Flavored Popcorn at the Cozy Cone Motel, I see that they have a specialty beverage at the bottom of the menu. It’s called “Doc’s Wild Grape Tonic.”

No other description is available. You get a name. That’s it.

I’m still scarred from my experience with Ramone’s “Pear of Dice” Soda. That was a serious wallop of over-the-top sweetness (and fake pear flavor). The Grape Tonic could easily be the same concept, with a different flavor. In which case … yeeech.

But hey – this is the project. We’re trying everything. And I’m here. So let’s do this. One, please.

Initially, things are encouraging. Rather than being pulled straight from a fountain mixer (I’m looking at you, Mint Julep), the Wild Grape Tonic is more of a seltzer-n-syrup affair. They mix it behind the counter, put a dollop of whipped cream on it, and hand it over. Excellent.

Then you try it.

This is super, super, super, super sweet. It’s basically a liquid grape Jolly Rancher. My initial taste was pretty positive (“Hey! This works!”) but, like most of these specialty beverages, the novelty quickly gives way to a flat monotony.

It’s just too much sameness for a 16-ounce portion. It overstays its welcome. And I couldn’t finish it.

Not recommended.