Chef Salad @ Clarabelle’s

Price: $9.99

When: July 16, 2017, 1:35 PM

Reservations: n/a

Verdict? Not recommended

Chris, Elaine and I are in Toontown, looking for food. Poor Chris is in dire need of calories, yet is patiently enduring our “Hey! We haven’t eaten that yet!” tour of the parks. A trouper.

While he looks for a calorie fix, Elaine and I examine the menu at Clarabelle’s. We’ve already ordered the “Slow-Roasted Turkey Sandwich” … and now notice their Chef Salad, advertised in small, neat lettering at the bottom of the menu. It’s $9.99.

Hey, this is the project, right?

We decide to try it.

Like the Slow-Roasted Turkey Sandwich, the salad arrives in a plastic shell, straight from the fridge. It’s a bed of lettuce, topped with turkey, ham, cheese, cucumber, carrot, tomato and egg. You also get your choice of dressing: Thousand Island, Ranch or Italian. (We picked Ranch.)

We get to our table, remove the plastic top, and dig in.

Nothing about this is good. The ham and turkey are very, very mild … and practically interchangeable (Elaine: “I ate a piece of ham, but it tasted like turkey!”). The tomato is soggy and sad. The carrots don’t taste like anything (and neither does the cheese). The cucumber is decent, but there’s not a lot of it. And the lettuce – the lettuce! – just takes up space in the bottom of the tray.

This salad is 100% about the dressing. It’s a dressing delivery vehicle. Add Ranch, mix well, and you’ll get yourself a forkful of Ranch-flavored …. something. (Which, to be clear, is an improvement over the default.)

This is a poor salad. It feels like the long-lost cousin of the Grilled Chicken & Feta Salad at Smokejumpers: no love, no flavor. So: no thanks.

Not recommended.