Make Mine Mocha @ Schmoozie’s

Price: $5.99

When: January 10, 2018, 12:30 PM

Reservations: n/a

Verdict? Not recommended

It’s already been a fun morning in the parks, and I’m ready for a snack. I don’t want anything too large or too finicky. Something in a cup would be perfect.

(I’m in the mood for a smoothie, is what I’m saying.)

Since I’m in California Adventure, Schmoozie’s is just a short walk away. I stroll down the main boulevard of Hollywood Land, approach the restaurant, and examine the menu.

Most of Schmoozie’s menu is fruit-themed smoothies. They aren’t grabbing me. And then I see my prize: the “Make Mine Mocha.”

Frozen chocolate espresso? Caffeine, in cold liquid form? OMG yes please.

I order. The Friendly Cast member asks if I want whipped cream. Of course I do.

Two minutes later, I am handed a cup through a small window.

Initial impression: this is a pretty hearty smoothie. The cup is taller, wider, and heavier than expected. It feels more like a “share with the group” thing instead of a one-person portion.

Second impression: this is basically a milkshake. While it’s billed as ‘frozen chocolate espresso’ it feels like a cousin to the shakes at Flo’s or Smokejumpers.

I pop in the straw, and take my first sip. It tastes like …

Chocolate milk?

There’s no discernible coffee flavor. At all. Instead, this has the flavor of very mild, store-bought chocolate milk. (You know, the stuff in the small white carton that you drank in third grade.)

The Make Mine Mocha has that one note, and hits it over and over and over. The whipped cream is nice (to be fair: it’s just whipped cream), and the chocolate sauce on top is straight-up Hershey’s syrup. In short: there’s nothing “mocha” or “espresso” about this. It’s more like a very, very, very mild chocolate shake.

This isn’t terrible, but it is disappointing. Part of this is due to marketing; if this were called “Mild Milk Chocolate Shake” instead of “Make Mine Mocha,” it might have landed a bit better. That said, it’s still underwhelming. The flavor just isn’t there. It’s boring.

Not recommended.